Try these IT jokes as a help tool to relax your day.
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to believe computers are female
- No one but God understands their internal logic
native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else (kind of hexadecimal, BCD or alike?).
message "Bad command or file name" is as informative as "If you don't
know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
- Even your smallest mistakes are stored in
long-term memory for later retrieval.
- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you
find yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.
to believe computers are male
- (No way, computers are female...)
Desk Silliness (you wanted IT jokes, didn't you?)
we all do and say 'strange' things from time to time, and it's only bad
luck that these happened to get recorded (so to speak) for posterity...
know we shouldn't laugh at people who make silly mistakes (did I say so
to speak?), but I found these funny and liked to
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or mine?
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
Hi, good afternoon, this is Monique, I can't print. Every time I try,
it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed
it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah... Thank you.
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
A customer couldn't get on the Internet:
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Houston, I got a huge problem! A friend put a screen saver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
Be on the
look out for these viruses...
RONALD REAGAN VIRUS: Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.
MIKE TYSON VIRUS: Quits after two bytes.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB,
then slowly expands to 200 MB.
TITANIC VIRUS: Your whole computer goes down.
DISNEY VIRUS: Everything in your computer goes Goofy.
PROZAC VIRUS: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates some files, leaves, but will be
How to please
your IT Jokes ... ahem! I mean... IT Department…
you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried
under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried
flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and
we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
- Don't write anything down. We can play
back the error messages from here.
an IT person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you
won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to
remember 347 screen saver passwords.
- When you call the
help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it.
We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your
computer won't power on at all.
- When IT support sends you an email with high
importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.
- When the photocopier doesn't work, call
computer support. After all, there's electronics in it.
- When an IT person tells you that computer
screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We like good arguments.
We're not that bad to our very dear IT people ... are we?
an IT person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing
tone of voice: "how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That keeps us
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