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Math
Fun (is not a function...)
This is mainly math fun
(puns or jokes) but also
apply to engineering, science and similar topics... Enjoy!
An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality.
A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A
mathematician doesn't care.
I do not think  therefore I am not (Descartes?).
A topologist is a person who doesn't know the difference between a
coffee cup and a doughnut.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the
personality to be an engineer.
Classification of mathematical problems as linear and nonlinear is
like classification of the Universe as nuts and nonnuts (or
doughnuts?).
A mathematician and an engineer are on desert island. They find two
palm trees with one coconut each. The engineer climbs up one tree, gets
the coconut, eats. The mathematician (who likes to have math fun)
climbs up the other tree, gets the
coconut, climbs the other tree and puts it there. "Now we've reduced it
to a problem we know how to solve."
A physicist and a mathematician are sitting in a faculty lounge.
Suddenly, the coffee machine catches on fire. The physicist grabs a
bucket and leap towards the sink, filled the bucket with water and puts
out the fire. Second day, the same two sit in the same lounge. Again,
the coffee machine catches on fire. This time, the mathematician stands
up, got a bucket, hands the bucket to the physicist, thus reducing the
problem to a previously solved one.
Several scientists were all posed the following question: 'What is 2*2?'
The engineer whips out his slider (obviously an old joke) and shuffles
it back and
forth, and finally announces '3.99'.
The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on
his computer, and announces 'it lies between 3.98 and 4.02'.
The mathematician cogitates for a while, then announces: 'I don't know
what it is, but I can tell you, an answer exists!'.
Logician replies: 'Please define 2 * 2 more precisely' .
The sociologist: 'I don't know, but is was nice talking about it'.
Medical Student: '4'.
All others looking astonished: 'How did you know ??'
Medical Student: 'I memorized it'.
What is the difference between a psychotic, a neurotic and a
mathematician? A psychotic believes that 2+2=5. A eurotic
knows that
2+2=4, but it kills him. A mathematician simply changes the base.
A student comes to the department with a shiny new cup, the sort of
which you get when having won something. He explained:
I won it in the MD Math Contest. They asked what 7 + 7 is. I said 12
and got 3rd place!
Golden rule for math teachers: You must tell the truth, and nothing but
the truth, but not necessarily the whole truth.
Some mathematicians become so tense these days that they do
not go to sleep during seminars.
There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and
those who can't.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those
who understand binary
math, and those who don't.
Why do computer scientists get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
Cause 31 oct = 25 dec
The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90
degrees and try again.
The limit as n goes to infinity of sin(x)/n is 6.
Proof: cancel the n in the numerator and denominator.
What does the zero say to the the eight?
'Nice belt!'
How many numerical analysts does it take to replace a lightbulb?
3.9467: (after six iterations and with TolX = 0.001).
How many simulationists does it take to replace a lightbulb?
Infinity: Each one builds a fully validated model, but the light
actually never goes on.
How many university lecturers does it take to replace a lightbulb??
Four: One to do it and three to coauthor the paper.
Math and alcohol don't mix, so... Please do not drink and derive!
Life is complex. It has real and imaginary components.
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